Journey Back 2 One-Derland

My Journey from Fat to Fit and the Lessons I learned along the way!

Let’s Get Physical

So as you know I went for my first bike ride in a couple years on Saturday and well it was nice to be out on it for a bit at the time. My body definitely didn’t like it as much as I did afterwards though as it stiffened right up. Sure a little soreness was expected, but my shoulders, neck and such were so stiff and sore that I could barely turn my head without pain shooting up.

I forgot what it was like to be hunched over like that on the bike for an extended period of time. Though carrying my bike from the basement of building up and back down afterwards definitely didn’t help as the stairs well is not the easiest to maneuver in with a bike. Sure I noticed when I would paint I would get some soreness in my shoulder blade area but I wasn’t expecting it when I went biking.

Leg did act up afterwards a little but not enough to truly bother me, but my butt / inner thighs, darn that seat needs some softness to it. Though it doesn’t help that it has me on top of it either, but that will be the last time it feels that same amount of weight as we are getting physical and moving the fat off the body more each day.   And well the plantar fasciitis wasn’t happy so much either but no more than usual these last few weeks. Nothing that a lot of stretching and such won’t loosen up.

So, yup, it is official I am aging and out of shape at this time.

Thankfully, today was the first day that I worked out with my Fitness Angel Eric and it was a great starting session. With the neck stiffness I wasn’t sure how it would go but it didn’t really affect me in any of the exercises we did and well a couple of them I felt it but that is only because of the muscles involved in the exercise as well.

Eric was very gentle on me today, and well I am sure that won’t always be the case as we progress, but it was a get to know what the body and I could handle. So we will see how the day progresses.

I was happy with the outcome, and well the fact Eric was listening to what was going on and well making sure that form was correct and such, is always great. I even surpassed the expected reps with an extra on most of the exercises. You know for good luck and good measure. Though some of the exercises were definitely a bit of a challenge as the body hadn’t been worked out in that way in a while. It was probably in shock trying to figure out what I was doing to it, but also happy to be moving and being used again in some way.

My challenge to you all today especially those that are not moving as much as they would hope for or would like to, or even perhaps as much as they should be, is to get physical in some way every hour of the day even if it means getting up off the chair in the office when you are on the phone and pacing. Move, the body was designed for it and will thank you in spades as you honour and show it the love. Not to mention, you will feel so much better in the long run. And well if I can do it with all these body imbalances, injuries, extra fat and such, so can you!

Make no excuses and if you do have one, find something that motivates you to move that is stronger than your excuse and keep that in mind when you just can’t do it or don’t want to or whatever the excuse is.   I mean you either want to feel happy, healthy, fit or you don’t! There is no in between, the time is now. And well know I am here cheering you on, and I know you can do it. You go this, you know it and so do I.

Mondays also happen to be my weigh in day here at home and well I haven’t revealed the actual numbers to you guys in the past, but I figure if I am going to do this and truly be open to the entire process and transparent, the numbers needed to be shared as well.   So I will be sharing them each weigh in day with you guys.

So at the start of this journey I was over 300lbs, and well it’s been a process of ups and downs since then, but at least I haven’t gained the weight, and it has been consistently going downward, mind you very slow and painfully. But I know once the eating is completely in order that will help with it as well. At least I my eating is moving in the right direction, improving, and well so is the scale moving in the right direction as well.

So today’s numbers are:

  • Weight: 298.2 lbs – Yup that is down from last week
  • Fat: 48.5 % – Down 1% this last week
  • Water: 28.6 % – Up from last week some
  • Lean Muscle: 33.4 % – Up from last week

Mind you how accurate my scale is, only God knows but it’s a good indicator to me. I am doing my best to focus not so much on the weight part but more on the Fat % going done, Lean Muscle % increasing, and well I know the water will increase as we move the extra body weight off as well.  So I am definitely happy with seeing progress.

As for my girth measurements, those will come once I get all measured in as well for those as I plan on having those done once a month so that we have more information to share and be motivated by!

So the plan for the week is to keep blogging about what is unfolding and what I am discovering about myself, the lessons and the experiences that are all interconnected to the weight journey in hope that it not only helps me, but inspires, blessings, heals and perhaps enlightens you on your own journey.

I also plan to keep working on getting my eating to be balanced, at regular intervals and healthy in all forms.

Also of course I have daily movement schedule that will include some cardio of some form, stretching to loosen up this tight old man feeling body, and well working out with Eric on Weds.

Anyways thank you for kicking my butt Eric and for being so kind about it at the same time through our first workout together. Thank you for being my Fitness Angel and Supporter.

And to the rest of you, thank you for being part of Team Angel and for your support, kindness, words of wisdom and more. I love & appreciate all of you.

Have a blessed day!

 

Personal_Training1

2 Comments »

The Secret Chest

When I was growing up we had this locked chest in our back porch and well as you can imagine, me being a child was very curious about what was in it all the time that it was always locked.   I mean why is it kept there? Why wasn’t it kept in the house? What was so secret that it had to be outside of the main home and locked all the time?   Did it hold all the magic portions and items? And well I am sure I had a million other questions about what secrets this Big White Metal Box held as a child and probably drove mom a little crazy with them at times.

I mean I was a 6 year old child and this child liked to find & get into things that I shouldn’t be. Heck, I am sure most children are very inquisitive in this way themselves and well on more than one occasion it led to Mom using the stick on me. Yep, it was the 70s people, parents could hit their children and not be locked up for punishing them when they weren’t listening or following the rules. I mean was it perhaps a little harsh, surely but they meant well. After all they were just trying to teach and raise their children to be good people in the world and it didn’t mean they loved their offspring any less.

So I am sure that there was a good reason for the lock on the secret chest! In fact, I know there was. You see this secret chest wasn’t so secret as it would be one of the first things people would see every time they came to visit us and well it was in such a location that day or night anyone get into it and take away the magical portions it held surely whether we were home or not.   And well even if we were home, half the time we wouldn’t have known if someone had entered the covered back portion of the home before knocking as Mom had a bit of a music fetish and would play it so loud, day or not, that the neighbours a block away could surely hear it playing.

But this locked chest just kept calling and begging me to find a way into it, and discover the mystery held within. I mean my parents would go into it daily and take things out of it, before locking it up again. So of course I had to find the way to open the box. Yes, there was a key, but that wouldn’t do as if I got the key, they would know that it was missing.

One day I figured a way to open the box and well discovered that the box wasn’t were all the magic goodies were kept and it didn’t hold gold in it either. It just had food in it and it was frozen at that. Well that made sense seeing it was a freezer and well even the lock made sense now. But more importantly it had sweet sugary tasty things in there, from cookies to ice cream. And thus my nemesis was born, the Sugar & Processed Food Addict!

So when I was supposed to be playing outside or whatever the case, I would be sneaking into the freezer and eating the sweets. Little did I know the impact of that decision as life went on, much like an alcoholic who takes his first drink or a smoker who takes that first drag of the cigarette and so on. Sure, as a child it wasn’t an out of control addiction that led to me being an hundred pounds overweight. But it definitely helped the people in my life nickname me Pork chop, or being called Husky and other terms because of the extra layer of fat that I carried around. Not to mention the mean names that other kids could call someone who was different in shape, form and such forth.

Thankfully I was a child and was active in many ways so that definitely kept it down some surely. As I could imagine had I not been biking, walking or playing squash / racquetball across the street on the building or whatever else we got up to, that I would have been much bigger.

Of course that changed as I grew older and became a little more active in the kitchen cooking and such forth, which ultimately led me to working as a cook / head baker and other management roles in the restaurant industry for over 18 years.

But let’s be real. That was just another front for me to get my fix as preparing food, you have to taste it to make sure it was servable, right? Or that’s what I told myself, as do many chefs let’s face it. It may not be something that is done consciously, but subconsciously it is definitely a part of the reason we enter the field.   After all addicts will lie, cheat and steal in the name of their addiction. Mind you working in the restaurant industry you can get away with it all legally in the name of service of good tasty food and to keep the patrons coming back for more.

I also found myself not being as active as I grew older and started working in the restaurant field. I chalked it up to working all sorts of weird hours and not sleeping right or having the energy or whatever the case at the time. I mean who can even think of going for a bike ride or walk or whatever when you are in school all day and then at work until late during the week. Or when you are working split shifts from 6am to 2pm, only to return to work at 5 until after midnight, and then get up the next day and do it again with different hours perhaps?   Definitely not I, as between shifts you were resting, and well after the day was over, you were trying to unwind from the busy shift to get back to sleep for work the next day.

Heck, I did that for months until something finally gave and I found myself burning out. Not to mention my eating at the time was definitely not a healthy lifestyle as I would be eating whatever I could to get some energy or that was quick to prepare.  A bad habit that often creeped up whenever I life got overwhelming in some way mentally or emotionally.   Which is one of the reasons that junk or sweets tend to be so attractive to the addict many times, we are looking for some energy and to suppress the way we feel about ourselves or our lives perhaps on some level.   So the cycle repeats over and over as life goes on in some form. Whether we are getting our fix through the processed foods, or drinking soda or sweets or whatever way it may unfold.

Moderation for an addict doesn’t work as any Alcoholic, Drug, Gambler or Smoker can attest to if they are honest with themselves and the world at large. The same is true for a sugar addict or whatever other food addiction that there is. But unfortunately we can’t necessarily abstain from our addict as the substance may be in so many things and have so many different names for the same thing.

For me, the only way that has worked in the past is to truly quit it completely, and only allow it in through whole foods such as Fruits in its natural whole form, not processed as juice or anything as such. Sure I can use fruit to sweeten something up such as my Raw Vegan Tropical Carrot Cake I make that has no sugar (other than through fruit and the carrots), not to mention has no flours or other processed stuff.   But of course easier said than done.

One of the things that I have learned through my own journey is that if I am getting enough greens and proteins then the sugar addiction is more under control. One of the ways that I have found that has led to success for me in the past is by making sure that I get my Green Smoothies in each day.

My favourite Green Smoothie is very reminiscent of having a blended salad as it includes lots of baby spinach, mixed baby greens, kale, tomato, avocado, lemon, maca root, sprouted flax & chai seeds, some hemp seeds, banana and strawberry or blueberry or raspberry, depending on the day and my mood at the time. I blend it all up with water or sometimes almond milk.

It is not a mix that I add water or whatever to, it is all natural whole food and despite the fact that it is green, it is pretty tasty and fulfilling. Unless you put a little too much of a certain ingredient or two, which just means you aren’t done creating and you need to add a little more of something else to even it out.   It is like a recipe, sometimes you have to play around with it until you get the right mix to make it nice, tasty and inviting to the palate.

Besides the benefit of all the wonderful nutrients with the ingredients, and the fact it helps with my cravings; it is easy on the digestive system, which allows you to allocate some of that energy that normally would be used for digesting to other purposes in the body systems such as healing from the inside out. In fact, I find when I incorporate a good 2 to 3 cups of this a day, my skin glows and looks so much better, along with the fact that I feel better.

I have been working on getting my smoothies in during the morning part of my day as a nice way to start the day and to break the fasting period that has unfolded over the last several hours since I last ate.   So this week my plan is to continue with working on perfecting the mornings with the smoothies, and also working on getting my meals into me at more regular intervals so that it keeps my metabolism and energy flowing better, and also helps to curb the binging that I can have happen at times or going off the path of healing eating.

I encourage each of you to look at where you can tune you’re eating plan to meet your goals and to work on one meal at a time and perfect that, then move to the next timeslot. Before you know it, you will be on your new Life Plan of Healthy Eating and it will have seemed so easy.

Make me the promise that you will do your absolute best and never give up, and when you fall, get back up, dust yourself off, ask what you have learned through the process, where you can fine tune some more so that it doesn’t happen again, and well then get back on the horse and try again.

And most importantly, don’t keep yourself secret from the world, and let others help you. Strength comes in numbers and well it is ok, to reach out and ask for help when you need it. You don’t need to do it alone. Reach out to your support team of family, friends, loved ones, or even further to put together your Success Team, and help you reach your goals. You are truly worth it.

That is one of the things I am working on myself. Which is why I have found a Fitness & Nutrition Angel, Eric Bissonnette, to help me along the way. After all, even coaches sometimes need a helping hand!   But more important than just having Eric on my support team, is that he brings forth a new perspective, more knowledge and well a support system alongside of him.

So if you are in Ottawa or really anywhere, reach out to Eric should you need a helping hand, and well I am sure he will set you up for success along your journey as well. And well if he isn’t the one for you, well I am sure he will let you know that and help you find the right fit at the same time. After all, he wants you to be successful, but I am confident that you will love him as well, like the rest of Team Eric does.

You can reach Eric through his website at http://www.alwaysimprove.ca.

Remember the slogan, “One Day at a Time?” Well I say, live in the moment so make it, One Moment at a Time, or One Meal at a Time.

I would love to hear what you think of this sharing today, has it perhaps inspired, motivated, uplifted or perhaps brought some enlightenment to you for your own journey in some way. Let me know if so, or if there is a topic perhaps that I may be able to gain some insight to help me with my own journey and thus write about to help you with yours perhaps.

Thank you all for taking the time to read, to like and comment on my blog. I truly love & appreciate each of you.

Thank you for being one of my Angel Supporters.

Leave a comment »

Goal Completed

Yay for Sunshine, Shorts, TShirt, Shoes, Tunes, Bike, Road, Canal and Me!
First Ride on Bike since 2014 before my Army Half Marathon Run, and then the whole Hospital stint and then Rehab last Year! And well only side effect was a smile, a feeling of happiness and well some muscle aches from working out. So we shall see how the body aka leg / foot processes as the day goes forth, but so far so good 🙂
And well another day and another day of healthy food completely!
Yay for me!
And well did lose my bank card from my shorts in the process which I knew better to keep in the pocket as i knew it would happen if I did, and well voila it fell out. But good news on that front, despite the fact that I had already gone a good distance before I noticed it gone, when I did, I called in my angels to watch over it and keep it safe, and lead me to it, and me to be able to find it, and voila 3 blocks from home I got and there it was turned upside down on Bank Street by the Liquour Store shining light for me to see! So thank you Angels, that saved me a trip to the bank to get a new one.
That didn’t stop me from getting back on the bike and continuing my ride not at all! I turned right back around and away I went to the canal once again. I am sure that the people along the way probably was wondering what the heck I was doing as they had seen me bike by them 3 times in less the 10 minutes. But I just smiled, and waved as I went by them.
And I must have been speeding just a little as one of the other bikers let me pass them when we got the green light along the way, and well before I knew it, he was a distant memory.
So all I got to say, set a small goal each day that is along the path to your bigger goals and well then get out and don’t let anything stop you from completing it. After all, successful people always finish what they start!
That’s what I did, I got up, set a couple day goals and then went out and accomplished them.  So I know if I can do it, you can too, whatever your goals are.
I think my Fitness Angels will be happy, and well I know I am!
I love and thank each of you all for being an Angel Supporter!
Have a blessed weekend!
3 Comments »

The Journey to Awesome Begins

Each and every one of us has goals for our lives, whether it is in health, fitness, nutrition, finances, relationships or something else. Every goal will be accomplished when you have all the right support in place for it, and focus on the steps leading to the fulfillment of the goal. However, many times we tend to go it alone in trying to reach the goal and that may work for many, but let’s be real, we humans are social people, and well sometimes the best way is to reach out and ask for that extra hand or extra support to help you accomplish something that you have set as a goal for yourself.

I know I have been guilty of this many time, with trying to do it all myself, and not always opening up and letting people in to what is truly going on or how I am feeling or whatever the case at the time. This year I set the goals of taking my power back, stepping and standing in it fully, opening up and sharing more, and well reaching One-Derland Once again in health and fitness to start with!

These goals may not always be simple and well sometimes will require me to get out of my own way, to get uncomfortable at times, and well reach out to ask for help as well perhaps!   But every goal’s journey is always worth it when we fulfill our dream! I am sure you will agree with that statement. However, this not mean that the journey will be smooth and easy along the way. You may get detoured, or hit a roadblock or whatever.

These may be the times where you need to ask for help to overcome whatever life has thrown in your way. And well people it is a strength to do so not a weakness as many may think it is. Think about it, how strong are you when you overcome your own fears and mind to pick up the phone and say, hello, I need some help. Sure you put yourself in a vulnerable place when reaching out. Sure you may be turned down. But you have a choice at every moment and well you can either let that stop you in your tracks and consider it a failure or you can stay focused on the outcome, and know that this is just a stop along the journey to success.

The last couple weeks as you know I haven’t been doing much blogging as I got a little side tracked and well felt down a little with things I guess when I wasn’t seeing the numbers on the blog site moving much.   Sure I know that there are those of you that may be following the blog and well perhaps have signed up for email notification, and thus you get an email saying that I have posted a new post, and well you can read it in your email. But you know what, if you come to the site and like the posts, or comment or whatever, it helps keep me going and focused that much more.

And well I keep hearing from a number of people that my messages seem to hit home, and well you are enjoying the blog and such forth. And well that is great, but let’s be real, if I don’t see the hits on the blog stats, how do I truly know that anyone is actually reading the posts?   So help me to stay focused, motivated and inspired by giving me a virtual hug, making a comment or liking the posts, or heck refer others to the site as well. Remember how I mentioned that we were in this together at the start of the journey, well I truly mean that!

Anyways, you are awesome, and I love you all so much for just taking the time out of your days to read my blog. Thank you very much for being here.

Know that I am still on the journey to One-Derland and well that hasn’t stopped at all. The weight is slow to move, but it is moving in the right direction, down and well the eating is improving, and well I have taken a new step to get me to my goals.   What is it you ask?

Well, I reached out and asked for help!   While I may have some of the knowledge and know how myself, I recognize that I don’t know it all obviously as I have been on the hamster wheel trying to figure it all out myself. Not to mention, I figure I have driven myself insane enough, and well figure with someone there beside me to help get and keep me focused that much more, and help pick me up when I am having one of those days.   Remember how I mentioned in a previous posting, that we need a good support system that we can call upon? Well this is just another member of my Team, just like you are.

Who is this Angel that answered, you ask?

Eric Bissonnette of Always Improve Personal Training here in Ottawa!

I met with him today and well he truly felt like just another member of my family, and well trust me even reminded me of one of my cousins in so many ways. This is just one of the signs that heaven will often give us when we are on the right path when we meet a member of our spiritual family. You know the ones, where upon meeting them you felt comfortable, at home and like you have known them forever. That sort of describes Eric.

He had a presence about him that just made me feel comfortable, made me feel like I was at home, that there was no one else but me that he was focused on at this time and that I mattered! Well ok, we were in a room together and there was no one else in the room, but truth is that is exactly how he made me feel and well even when showing me the gym where we would work out and such, he was still focused on me only. And one may think well you are paying him so of course he is going to focus and make you feel comfortable and such forth.

But truth is, Eric is doing this out of the kindness of his heart in every way possible people. I have always say, when one has found their passion and is living it, it isn’t ever about the money. Sure there are bills to pay and such, but to these people, it is about, how can I help or be of service to you at this time, etc… These are heart centered people who love what they do and it shows. They have a way of connecting with people that is unlike another at many times.

I feel good with Eric as my personal trainer, though I am sure that there will definitely be days where he will be pushing me to my breaking point and where I may not always like him in the moments. But at the end of the day, I will appreciate it and still love him for helping me to love myself at the same time.

I know that he will be a part of the blog moving forward so you can get used to hearing his name for sure. And well I would appreciate if you all show him some love whether it is here or on his Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/always.improve.ottawa/?fref=ts

Anyways, welcome to the team my Fitness Angel Eric!

Thank you for helping me on my Journey Back to One-Derland and or to use your words the Journey to Awesome!

 

 

2 Comments »

Will he or Won’t he?

Life is full of opportunities. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t, or so we are told. I feel that every opportunity is successful on one level or another, however it is our expectation that it is going to work out a certain way that leads us to believe otherwise. So today, I say, let’s embrace the opportunity to be healthy, fit, lean, active and trim!

Every morning you wake up with the same choice that you can make, either get up and active with the day, or stay in bed.   Successful people don’t lay around waiting for the opportunities to appear or just show up in their life. They show up in their lives by making the opportunities, by finding a way to plow through whatever obstacle may show up, and they just trust that they are going to reach the end result. They have the mentally, if there is a will there is a way. They are solution oriented and go about the day looking for the solution to whatever is in front of them, and looking to enhance the success that they are also experiencing. They have seeds constantly being planted and nourish them daily to give them life.

So today, my plan is to get up, suit up and get outside right away doing something whether it is a walk or run or whatever the feeling of the day is. I am planning and listening to the body and letting it tell me what it needs for activity!

I think that many of us may have it wrong by telling the body what we think it needs, rather than tuning in to listen to it, and then honouring the body as we lovingly support it in helping us reach our goals. After all, we as a soul know the complete blueprint on how to get from A to Z for all our goals, but we as a human don’t always tune in to listen to the souls wisdom and guidance. We decide we are going to make the plan and then go about the day working to make it happen, rather than setting the goal, tuning in and taking action from the soul level. It is when we do this that we have a deeper level of fulfillment, energy and vitality as we move along the journey.

The soul knows it all, and knows what is best for us, what we need to reach the destination and how to deal with whatever unfolds throughout the experience of the day. When we surrender to the power, the will and the love of the soul body, we are connecting to the flow, and when we are connected to the flow we begin to live in the flow and thus experience & become the flow!

So today, I am going with the flow. I am tuning into my body and becoming aware of what it is that it needs for its own healing, energy and vitality. I am tuning in to see what nourishment I can provide in healthy food, in exercise, in my service work as a Medium, Healer and Teacher for the Soul, and also what it is asking for rest and for whatever experience that the day unfolds.

I believe that by doing things a bit differently and surrendering rather than resisting, we may actually just get to the end goal that much faster!   After all, I will still set the course with time set goals for the day, week, month or whatever timeframe, and then I will surrender to the power, the will and the love of my soulful self to guide me along the way to nurture, love, accept and appreciate my body as it supports me along the journey.

I know that in the past I didn’t always listen to the body or soul, and that lead me to struggle, to have health challenges and hardships in life. So today, I am making the choice to do a better job of listening to the body, listening to the soul and the divine within all. It is by doing so, that my hope and prayer that things will flow with beauty, love, grace and ease.

After all, we have all heard the sayings,

  • What you resist persists,
  • What you fear you manifest,
  • Whatever you give your time, energy and focus to in thought, word and action you create and thus experience,

The definition of insanity is repeating the same mistakes, or patterns over and over again, without learning from them or trying something new

So let me affirm here and now, I AM Getting off the roller coaster and treadmill that is going nowhere and now allowing my SOUL FREE so I can be ME!

I hope that I can inspire you to join me, if so, let me know by liking my post, commenting and sharing what you have learned through your own repetitive cycle of your health, fitness, weight and life journey!

I hope that by you sharing a little something with me, perhaps it will not only help me, but will help others along the way that are reading it as well. You just never know the power of your words and sharing with others to bring forth healing and enlightening for all concerned, and that goes for you further as well! For many times we are hiding our stories because of the fear of being judged or whatever. When it is by providing the story that true freedom can begin!

Thank you for being one of my Angel Supporters!

Together we got this!

And BTW, YES I DID!   I lost weight again this week and the plan continues as it was last week. Eat Healthier, Blog Daily, Exercise Daily, and Tune in to the Soul Daily!

See you tomorrow!

Leave a comment »

Doctor, Doctor……

Throughout the last couple years, I have seen more doctors, surgeons, physio therapists, and have had more tests & blood taken from me, then I have since I was born back in 69. It all started with the leg ceasing up, leaving me unable to stand, walk and barely lay around for a few weeks. Than it progressed from there climaxing with the hospital stay when the Gallbladder fiasco unfolded.

Not only did it rupture, but they found something weird that happened with the liver which left it finding a new way to work, and it seemed to be doing a good job with that. They couldn’t really give any details seeing that it had repaired itself, and well the fact that I was in shock and overwhelmed with everything that had been shared and unfolding at the time anyways.

To add to this, they had found a couple blood clots which well they were pretty sure were connected to when the Gallbladder had ruptured as the body was working on repairing itself before I got to the hospital. Leave it to Brian to have his gallbladder rupture and still run a half marathon, not knowing what had happened on the inside of me around that same time.   More on that to come forth.

I had also been told that I had Pancreatitis as well and well a couple other small things which I honestly don’t remember now as they were insignificant and even the doctors didn’t seem to be bothered by them. And now then they told me that I was in septic shock, which for those that don’t know, is basically what happens as a complication of an infection where toxins start to enter the blood and attack the various organs and if not treated soon enough can lead to organ failure and even death.

Within minutes I had nurses moving me from the general urgent care part of the hospital to the next level of care in preparation for me to be admitted to the hospital. Over the next several days I was on a clear liquid diet and that was only when they didn’t have me fasting for tests and such forth. I had Cat scans, ultrasounds, a catheter inserted, a drain placed into the gallbladder area to drain the gunk and well two IV lines, one in each arm and well I felt like some sort of experiment gone bad. Sure I had wonderful nurses who truly blessed me with the best care and such, but heck only days before I was out running, training clients at the gym and well just enjoying life.

Now here I am lying in bed, trying to process and figure out the new normal moving forth. Sure 5 days in I felt more like myself, and was ready to start to do push ups and run some sort of exercise class in the hospital room. But at the same time, in the back of my mind, I had the image of blood clots working their way through the blood stream and perhaps entering the heart or brain or something. I know that I had surely heard of people dying out running or exercising from blood clots, and well fear was definitely starting to set in with this all.

So first things first, I told myself as they started me on blood thinners and had me giving myself shots in the stomach daily for a period of time, while they had me started on the pills which were definitely much more manageable when it came to the financial part of the equation over the needles. So over the next several months, they had me visiting the lab every 2-3 days to have blood work done, and then after about a month, they shifted it to once a week so make sure that I was staying within a certain range.

I saw the surgeon a couple times and well the plan was set to remove the gall bladder once I was taken off the blood thinners as it would be too complicated to do it given the type of medications I was on. I also saw the Thrombosis Team once a month for a period of 4 months, when I was given the all clear after another Ultrasound and blood tests and was weaned off the medications. Finally, now we can set up the surgery date 2 months later, which couldn’t come fast enough for me.

During the last several months, my diet had been shitty as I was having problems digesting my normal Raw Vegan foods that I had been eating for many years, and well anything that seemed to be healthy, my digestive system wasn’t having any part of. Was I doomed? After all, we all believed that I didn’t end up with the infections and such forth after the Gallbladder rupture for so long because of my healthy routine with eating good clean nutritious whole food alongside with my fitness routines. So why was my body now fighting me with this? What was going on with me?

Sure it may have been just acid reflex some happening, but it was much more than that and it was beginning to piss me off. I just wanted some lettuce, a carrot or two, or something that resembled real food. But alas, my body won the fight and well I succumbed to unhealthy patterns of eating.

With that came the weight gain and boy did it came on fast. But it wasn’t surprising seeing that I couldn’t seem to exercise for the fear of the blood clots, having shortness of breath just doing basic functions such as walking due to the darn medication. Yep, it was one of the listed side effects of it, and leave it to me, to have the one side effect that would leave me sidelined out of the many that could have happened.

I started to outgrow my clothes, and well I was refusing the purchasing of any new ones, with the exception of a couple basic shifts, shorts and a pair of pants. After all I couldn’t answer the door in my birthday suit. What would the clients think?   I mean they were coming to have sessions with the Angels, Guides and Departed Loved Ones, not to coming to some other establishment.   Besides I wasn’t planning on continuing to gain the weight or stay fat for long. I kept in the back of my mind that I would get this conquered and I would be back to a healthy weight, back to my skinny clothes and living life again any day. I may have been in denial a bit when it came to this, but that was my mindset at the time.

I had taken time off from the gym and training clients as I needed to be able to walk the talk, and I didn’t feel like I could do that at the time, even though I had the knowledge and know how. How would anyone truly listen to what I was offering them if they had an unhealthy fat trainer guiding them? I know I wouldn’t necessarily listen if I put myself in their shoes. So I backed away. Besides I needed to focus on me at this time.

I had wonderful supportive people in my life that were encouraging me when I was having a done day or was being overly critical of my fat body, or what have you. They would tell me, its only temporary, you will get back on track, you will lose the weight and such forth. But I can’t say that is what I was truly feeling within me. My heart was letting me know they were right, but my head was saying another thing.

God knows, that as I was seeing the doctors, they even were making comments about the weight. Like I needed to be told or reminded. My one neighbour was constantly at me as well, not understanding how I could be gaining the weight and at such speed.   Well let’s see, I was eating my normal foods, I wasn’t exercising, and well I was eating too much crap. Sounds like a perfect storm for weight gain to me. But alas she couldn’t understand what I was dealing with. I truly felt like no one could.

So I had hoped that once the surgery was done, that things would get on path and purpose once again with getting back to light and trim in all ways, in diet, exercise and health!   Just before the day came, my leg started acting up again. I mean really, body, would you cooperate.   Do you not get that we need to be active and get back out on the paths running, walking, cycling, skating or whatever? Do you not get we need healthy whole food? What the f….?   I was seriously beginning to lose it!

So what did I do, I turned inward that much more, backed away from social outlets further, and well ate away. During this time I was waiting to get started with physio and well learned of my family doctors death when I went to get referred again for it. Thankfully they had a plan with a new doctor coming on board and taking over the patient load, but that wasn’t for a few months. So in the meantime I would have a temporary doctor.

I decided to wait until the end of Summer and get into see the new doctor. Hopefully, I would connect with him in a positive way, as the old one wasn’t connecting for me any longer to the point I actually had wanted to perhaps look for a new one. So the universe answered the prayer without me needing to go out and look for one. He came to me. During this time, I was now free of the Surgeons, Thrombosis Team and constant blood tests, having been given the all clear.

Anyways the day arrived, and I met the new doctor which turned out to be from my Hometown and well we had much in common. He truly listened and was everything you would hope for in a doctor. Anyways he got me in for physio quickly and well now we could truly figure out more about what was up with this leg stuff that just kept repeating the cycle. Sure I was doing the metaphysical work by looking within to see what it was about on that level, but I knew there was something else.

Years of being overweight had definitely taken a toll of my body, and well when I was thin and healthy, my body was still out of shape in many ways. As there were all sorts of muscle imbalances, and flexibility issues, that was causing stuff to happen. So I was excited to be able to finally work with a physio therapist who would help me to understand and figure out that piece of the puzzle.

The next several months included physio once or twice a week along with at home exercises to help things along. It was a slow process as my body was still in fighting mode. I could do basic things, but if I pushed anything to fast, it would react and I was take a step back with the exercises. The physio therapist was also puzzled, but was very compassionate and helped to explain what she thought was going on at the same time. So we gently worked our way along the way.

Being that understood the body mechanics and was in tune with the body, the physio therapist pretty much had me doing the work myself much of the time. After all, this wasn’t the first time I had to deal with a leg issue, having pulled the knee cap out of alignment many years ago while biking and running one day. But it was going to be the last time I had to deal with it or that is the intention that I am putting out to the universe.

I also was working with the doctor to figure out what was happening with the foods, as I was seriously getting worried about my weight and well also was having some of the same symptoms that I had with pain in the side, blood tasting acid reflux and such forth, that the doctor sent me for more tests. He also had me started on a medication to help with this whole feeling of nausea and such forth. I did one round of the medication which was for a week and well everything cleared up. I finally wasn’t feeling sick to my stomach constantly and well started to feel like I could eat normal foods.

However the food addiction continued, as did my physio and inner therapy work that I was doing. I was definitely gathering more insight into things and found myself releasing little blocks at the same time and my leg was improving, to the point that the physio therapy was coming to an end. I would be set up with at home exercises to continue on my own and it came at the perfect time, as my therapist was about to retire at the same time. She also gave the go ahead to start back to yoga, running and such forth, slowly easing into it as my body allowed it.

I found my diet starting to shift as well, and well the weight was moving off be slowly. Could this be the end of my uphill battle with the body, diet and exercise?   I sure hoped so. Time would tell.   I know it isn’t going to happen overnight, but it is going to happen, that I KNOW! For every step forth is a step in the right direction and well persistence will always win out with time!

So if you are going through a tough time, please know that you are not alone, and that this too shall pass.

Thank you all for being here, for your kindness, likes and comments. I thank you for all being an Angel Supporter on my Journey Back to One-Derland.

Leave a comment »

Welcome to What’s Cooking with Brian!

First up I would like to take a moment to say thank you to all of you for your wonderful time, energy, love and support you have been giving this little blog during the first 2 weeks of life.  I truly appreciate all of you.

Moving forward I would love if you would take a moment as you read the posts to like them as you read them, or click the comment button and let me know what you thought as you read the post. I would also appreciate your help with spreading the love further by following and sharing with your peeps as you feel called to. If my journey can help that many more, it helps keep me inspired and motivated that much more, not to mention talk about holding me accountable at the same time.   So I thank you all in advance for that.

I want to inspire & empower you all in your own kitchens perhaps by sharing some of the wonderful good healthy whole foods that get created here at home.   I don’t always measure things out as I tend to intuitively cook however moving forward I will be sharing more exact measurements for you as well.   But just use them as a guideline as you are creating, that way it becomes more your own personal recipe as well!

Today’s recipe comes from the fact that I love me a good salad, but don’t always want lettuce salads and well I had some good healthy Broccoli in the fridge.   So what did I do, well I created a wonderful Broccoli & Carrot Salad for lunch! It has a nice variety of colour, texture and nutrients to help support a healthy body. I enjoy it with a nice cup of Peppermint Tea as I try to never mix my food with cold water, so if it isn’t Peppermint Tea, I may do Warm / Hot Lemon water.

Many times we have low stomach acid and well if we add cold liquid to that when we are eating we are watering down the digestive fire to help us break the food down so that we can extract from it what our body energy systems require in the form of nutrients. Just another reason I love my Green Smoothies as it helps the body to take that energy to replenish our resources and then use the excess energy to help heal and build up our healthy body! But that is a whole other talk.

So I try to stop drinking water before I eat about ½ hour before to allow the fire to be restored to full heat before I eat, and then I give my body a good hour or 2 after I eat before I drink any more water. This gives the body time to digest and start assimilation of the nutrients into the blood and organ stream to be carried throughout the energy systems whereever required.   I try to drink about 3 litres of pure water a day on top of any other liquids I may be drinking, this keeps me hydrated as well.

Anyways, we will talk more nutrition throughout our cooking segments on the blog here, and well in general as we all shift to a more healthy way of living.   I plan on having at least one Nutrition / Recipe Share day a week at minimum to both inspire you by giving you new ideas for your own kitchen skills, or help you get more confident with your creative juices, or empower you perhaps in another way, while sharing what I am eating myself!

Let’s get to the recipe today!

Broccoli & Carrot Salad

(Makes about 4-5 servings)

  • 3-4 cups Raw Broccoli (I use a Bunch of Broccoli chopped into smaller floret size pieces. I also use a lot of the stem as well after I remove any extra leaves and remove a small layer of the skin. I julienne the stem part to give the salad another level of texture to appear to the eyes as well.)
  • 2-3 Carrots shredded
  • A half full of raisins (1/2 cup)
  • ¼ cup of Hemp Seeds or ½ cup of Sunflower Seeds (I tend to soak all my seeds before using them as it encourages them to sprout and well sprouting brings further alkalinity and nutrients into the mix)
  • 1 medium Tomato (chopped small raison sized bites)
  • ¼ cup Red Onion (chopped small)
  • 1 Fresh Lemon Juiced
  • 1 tsp Dulse Flakes
  • ¼ tsp Himalayan Sea Salt
  • 1 tbsp. Olive Oil
  • 1 tbsp. Coconut Animos (Seasoning liquid similar to Soy Sauce but much lower in sodium and with the healthy benefits of coconuts and nope doesn’t taste like coconut either in case you were wondering.)

Mix together in a large bowl and let sit for a couple hours if you really want to bring the flavours together and soften the Broccoli up a hair or two. I tend to make up the night before if I am planning on it for lunch, or in the morning if I am going to enjoy at supper time.

As a single person living alone, I can be known to eat the same food over the course of a few days if it isn’t something that freezes well. Or I will invite a few people over and share with them. As why waste good food if there is a way to enjoy it!

Of course I sometimes will take that same broccoli and use only half of it for the salad, and then turn the other half in soup or use with a Zucchini Dip or something else. IF I do this, then the recipe would be halved or it would talk on a different shape and form that’s all. J   You really can’t go wrong in the kitchen with the basic know how!

Anyways, hope you enjoy and let us know some of your favourite healthy foods in the comments below, and be sure to like the post, follow the blog and lets help shine love & light together in the world by increasing awareness of my journey and blog. You just never know who may be thankful you did, well besides me that is for it means that many more people I can share my message with, inspire, empower and perhaps bring healing to.

Thank you for being an Angel Supporter of mine!

Leave a comment »

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Don’t worry, I am not about to break out into a song and sing Neil Sedaka’s 1962 hit song. I don’t know if I could pull it off as well as him so I will leave it to the people that can sing and I will just sing in the shower.

Life can be like wearing an old comfortable worn out pair of jeans. We will put them on day after day, despite the fact they may show our flaws and just aren’t really working any longer for our daily lives. And if we wear them out in public we may garner a number of looks both from those walking by us, and God forbid if we stop next to a building for a moment or so. Before we know it, we may have people handing us change thinking we are homeless or broke. After all, who would wear jeans out in public that are literally showing skin in places that should not be seen in public? We get so comfortable that we can’t bear to throw those jeans away as they symbolize so much to us and are just so comfortable. The same can go with shoes, shirts or even food.

One of the most different things for someone who has a Food addiction is breaking up with the food we are so comfortable with, even though we know it no longer serves or supports our highest vision of health and wellness.   We have so many memories perhaps associated to the foods. The same can be said when it comes to what we are drinking.   I am sure you can relate in your own way and story.

For me, I was always in the kitchen from an early age and would be make things for my Mom in particular or for family suppers etc… so it was only natural that when I started to work, that I would find myself working in the restaurant industry.

For some people it was just a way to make a quick buck or two, and they truly didn’t have a passion for it. For others, they truly enjoyed the art of creating and being in service to bring a little peace, comfort and joy to others during their family outings.

For a food addict, it was just another way to get a fix without feeling guilty or feeling judged. After all, someone had to taste the foods there they were making to be sure that there wasn’t too much salt or in case it needed something to make it sing & come alive on the mouths palate of whomever may be enjoying it.

I can’t say that I enjoyed the stress of working in a fast paced or high turnover restaurant, even though I did enjoy the art of creating. So after 18 years, I choose to leave the line of work and turned my focus to the holistic side of my interests. I enjoyed meeting new people and well I could make some tasty things for when I held classes and share my passion still in new ways. It was also a more relaxed atmosphere seeing I was working for myself with the option to pick and choose when I was teaching Reiki, or Intuitive Classes, or doing Readings or whatever the case at the time.

As life continued on, I found myself dealing with my Mother’s death and well turning to the comfort foods that I would often make for her growing up, Rice Pudding, Sweets, and other tasty concoctions. The first few months were the worse we had a close relationship despite our differences at times and the distance of our living locations.

Just a month before she died we weren’t speaking so much, with me being in my ego and feeling judged and betrayed by her for leaving a relationship that wasn’t working anymore. You see, my ex basically had been calling my mom behind my back and trying to work her into getting me to take him back. Of course he put his own spin on everything so when I tried to explain what had been going on she was sticking up for him. I mean it wasn’t like there wasn’t issues from the get go in this relationship with the major component being jealousy and insecurity on his behalf.

You see at the time I had a great paying job in the restaurant industry with great people and well he couldn’t seem to keep a job longer than a few months, not to mention the fact that I was much thinner and he would say better looking. So after 3 years of dealing with it, I called it quits. I am not saying that I was perfect either as I had my own faults as well. And well communication didn’t always come easy to me to open up and share what was going on within my mind or heart.

So that didn’t help things either both in the relationship or afterwards as I hadn’t ever really told my mom things that were going on in the relationship. Partly due to the fact that growing up it was instilled in me, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all or the fact that I was told to shut up for other reasons and felt powerless at times.   Then there was the fact that if I wasn’t working and went to call my mom, the partner was always around at the time. I felt smothered at times by him.

So when I went to open up with her, and share, I got shut down once again. My mom and I had our birthdays a few days apart and well usually one of us would call the other either on my birthday, or hers if we hadn’t spoken on mine first.   And well with things the way there were with the breakup being just a few weeks earlier, I kept to myself, and well began eating my emotions once again.

Then the unthinkable happened, Mom died, one month to the day after my birthday. And about 5 weeks after we last spoke. Sure she had reached out to me a few days before she died, but I was at work once again as per usual and well by the time I got home, it was later and well it was the weekend. And well what was my plan, to go out and have some fun with my new found friends rather than sit at home on the floor of the apartment. (Long story for another time)   I figured I would call my mom the next day once I got home from work, but alas I got side tracked and forgot.   I knew I had to call her as I felt something off in her voice the day she left the message on the voicemail and I knew it was serious as well at the time. I put that feeling aside figuring that if it was that serious she would have at least said so.

So, on that fateful January Tuesday, when my youngest sister called and left a message to call, I knew I had to get home and call right away. Which I did and well was told of mom’s death. I can’t say it shocked me due to the fact that I had picked up something serious on the voicemail and death had crossed my mind at the time.

Anyways, I made plans to return north, say Goodbye to Mom and deal with everything the next day. And well that began the story of the weight gain to my heaviest ever. 365lbs… I had nightmares for months following my mom’s death partly because I was trying to process everything that had happened in the last few months, and then also because of the fact that my sister was also processing things in her own way and needed some answers as well.

You see, Mom died at home suddenly at the age of 51 and well the decision not to have an autopsy done at the time was made by my step father who had no authority to do make such a decision as they had not been living together and had gone their separate ways years before. But seeing she had died while staying with my youngest sister and him at the time, my other sister was an hour’s drive away and then I was 8 hours away, when the coroner came, he directed the body to the funeral home.

So here was my sister calling me constantly with the progress of fighting to get Mom’s body exhumed for an autopsy and such forth. This went on for months until finally days before Mother’s day it all happened. After which we were better off than before the autopsy as nothing was conclusive on what caused the death, however, they assumed it was heart related based on whatever the found. Finally I could have some peace and process forward.

I never spoke up on how it all made me feel or anything as I knew that it was what my sister needed to do as well for her own journey. I know that this is one of the reasons that I turned to food as it gave me comfort and a connection to my mom. Not to mention, that food doesn’t tell me to shut up or neglect my feelings or anything.  It is the best friend that I ever had in many ways. It loves me as I am. It loves me for who I am. And so forth.

So you tell your best friend that you are breaking up with it without a good reason. Go ahead, tell it that you love it. Thank it for being a part of your daily life and that you are sorry for dumping it. Will it be easy? Not a chance! It will kick and scream at you as you try to move on with cravings and will make its appearance known in a variety of ways. You will walk into stores where you would think you would be safe, only to walk down and isle and find some of your triggers such as chocolate bars or sugary snacks of some sort.   You will walk down the street and every corner you turn you will be greeted by the scents of your favourite fried foods and more. And the more you try to ignore it, the more you will find yourself craving it. What you resist persists!

So, yes, food will always be a part of life, and you can’t truly ever through it away like a pair of jeans. But you can’t also eat certain foods any more as you know that they trigger you in unhealthy ways. Sure you will miss it. Given enough time and space, you will come to terms that it was the best decision ever to break up, that it really wasn’t a healthy relationship for you. You will get comfortable with your new choices and patterns, even though at first, you may kicking and screaming like a baby having a tantrum with the new routine.

You may find yourself overly emotional for no reason as you deal with emotions that you buried with the foods you once ate. But as you continue to move forward, you will find that you are that much more connected to your body. That much more connected to the love that you have buried deeply within your heart and you will find that you truly feel good in all ways. Not only that, but you will get people giving you compliments and other things that help you to know that you made the right choice, despite how hard it was to break up with the old way of living, eating, and being!

So make today that you throw those old clothes out, that you clean out the cupboards, pantry, fridge and grocery lists of the unhealthy stuff and stock it up with good nutritious whole foods that will support your new healthy relationship with food, with people and with life.

And well if you have a hard time taking the step to break up, remember why you are doing it and how you want to feel, and well reach out and ask for help to do so if need be. There is no reason to stay silent anymore and stuff your feelings down any more. It’s time to let go what no longer serves you and let the real you free!

Today is the day it is safe for you to speak up and live the life of your dreams. Besides if you don’t, you’re only hurting yourself further. Show yourself how much you are willing to love yourself by committing to and taking that next step!

I love each of you, and thank you for being an Angel Supporter.

I look forward to hearing from you, please feel free to make any comments below.

Leave a comment »

Monday Mornings….

Well today is another Monday and well that means its Weigh-In Day. After last week of not weighing in, I figured I had better do so today and get the numbers, whatever they are. The eating was better last week and thus felt good that was on path and purpose with reducing the body weight.

Now not knowing what the number was last week I don’t have a comparison, other than how I feel, how the clothes fit and how my eating was. And well while we had a few bad days, overall I was very happy with everything and definitely feel slimmer. So in my books, I WON this week!

Numbers aren’t everything, it’s all about how you feel about each step and day as you progress through it. That means, if you aren’t feeling good with a step, then the next one is to make sure you feel better about whatever that step is!   And well put enough of the feel good steps together and well you are successful in the endeavour.

Perhaps, you felt you could have done better, but the truth of the matter is, if you could have done better you would have, plain and simple. SO don’t judge yourself for where you are on the journey, love yourself for the action steps you are taking! Stop being so hard on yourself or beating yourself up over whatever it is you are being so and just be gentle, kind and compassionate, knowing where you have been in mind, body and heart, not to mention your life, you truly did a good job! And then make an action plan for the week so it is even better!

So my plan this week is to keep on winning the battle each meal and day, to do the best I can do and try to do better than I think I can. I plan to start my food journal again so that I can keep an closer eye of what I am eating and if there is something that my body is missing that perhaps I haven’t caught so that I can make sure I am getting all the nutrients & energy that it is requiring for the journey in the moment and days ahead.

I have already been into the kitchen to prep my food for the week so that there isn’t a need to reach out for something that isn’t on my eating plan. So I have my menu planned for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, and some healthy snacks as required.   And all the food in the fridge and cupboards are supportive of my healthy lifestyle. None of it is processed, it is all fresh, whole, natural and living food! Yay for me!   Success is already on the agenda and unfolding!     What does your meal plan, cupboards and refrigerator look like?

Also on the agenda for the week is to continue getting in more activity throughout the day in some form and getting in walks / runs throughout the week.   Last week I wasn’t so successful with this and I used excuses like the snow / icy weather or feeling bloated, or whatever the case. So this week I will be working on eliminating the excuses and increasing the motivation & will power to keep these promises that I am making to myself, and sharing with you all.

After you can’t do it for me, but you can inspire me with your likes, comments and shares of the blog & on the postings each day. That definitely helps keep me motivated and inspired as well. Let me know where you struggling yourself and perhaps we can help each other further with some of my upcoming blog posts. Remember you are not in this alone, we are doing it together!

I already have completed one run this week, and have another 3 scheduled along with 4 walks on the agenda including today’s. So once I post this, I will be lacing my shoes up, grabbing my umbrella and off I go! Where I will end up? Only the universe knows. But I know wherever I go, it will be awesome, for I will be getting fresh air, exercising and well on path & purpose with my goals!

I will also keep on blogging Monday-Friday with daily posts with some theme to it as I continue to go within to re-member the information the soul already knows, to bring to you all to help us all with the journey forth. How are you enjoying them so far?  I will also be expanding the blog posts to include recipes and more!   So be sure to sign up and follow my blog to get email notification when I post a new posting up for you all to enjoy!

So yes, when I stepped on the scales, the numbers were going in the right direction and I had lost weight! Perhaps not as much as I had hoped but I had reduced the size I was carrying around and that is the main thing!

Thank you all for being here, for following my blog, for your kindness, likes and comments. I thank you for all being an Angel Supporter on my Journey Back to One-Derland.

2 Comments »

I’m Only Human….

I sit here, thinking about the day that unfolded and feel sad, misunderstood and alone in the journey. Not to mention I feel angry, pissed off and more at the same time. I just want to go out and hit something!   I am sure many of you have had days like that.

You see today, I was going about the day minding my own business when I was noticing people giving that LOOK. You know the one, we have all done it at some point I am sure. That look of judgement. I mean who the heck is anyone to pass judgement on anyone.  It’s not like they are a saint themselves!  Everyone has their own junk we carry around. However, that doesn’t seem to stop some people from putting themselves on a pedestal or thinking that others are losers and worse yet.

So here I am going about the city going for a nice walk, picking up a couple things along the way and just enjoying the sunshine, fresh air, the beauty of the day and it happens.   I hear people talking about the lard ass walking in front of them, making judgments and being critical in general.   I have noticed a few people walking in the opposite direction of me and giving that “look” as well. I know that this is just a little tad of what others think and say when it comes to people? Heck as a human I know I have made my own judgements about myself, let alone others at times as well.

So here I am in the apartment thinking about how many conversations I have had over the last year since the weight started to fluctuate with the medications, lack of eating nutritionally, and the health challenges at the same time.  Many of them being with the same person, someone that has never been obese or been in my shoes, so to speak. They keep flashing back to the thin active person I was and asking questions like, “Don’t you want to be thin?” or talking about the latest “health fad” that they read in Chatelaine or heard about on Dr. Oz etc..

This coming from someone who has their own health challenges going on with Chronic Pain with Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, and drinks “Ensure” along with bakes constantly, eats tons of processed foods (as you can tell just by looking around you with the countertop filled with cookies of all sorts, bags of snacks and more. She eats 1 egg chopped up for lunch and is satisfied. She wants to lose weight as she is fat according to her words (like where I ask? If she is, it is like 10lbs at max). And on more than one occasion when I was healthy and fit, she was asking me for advice on nutrition or exercise.

She also was constantly talking with people behind my back about how I have gained weight, or lost weight in the past, etc…. I know that many people tend to do that and well to each that is their choice. Heck, I am doing it here myself, just by sharing. We have all done it at times, whether it is with good intentions or not.

She mentioned that she was speaking with her doctor about the “Green drink” that I consistently drank daily when I was healthy, and apparently if I kept that up, it would cause Cancer and other non-sense stuff. I mean let’s see, how does a Green Smoothie with Spinach, Kale, Tomato, Lemon, Avocado, Apple, Banana, Flax / Chia Seed Sprouts, & Water blended cause Cancer? At least it is real food not like the fore mentioned Ensure or other Processed Stuff on the market that we aren’t even sure what half the ingredients are? Not to mention at one point mentioned that eating salads can cause weight gain….. Yes, you are right, they can if you drown them with all sorts of unhealthy dressings, cheese and have lots of fatty options etc.… You can truly take anything and make it unhealthy just by adding a few wrong choices.

She even once mentioned she was talking with someone at her Church that lost weight by going to Alcoholics Anonymous and doing their program. Saying that perhaps I should do that as it worked for that girl who she only ever met once she also mentioned. She went so far as to get the information from the girl of the local meetings.

More than once I found myself biting my tongue as she went on and on. It got to the point, that I blew one day and just said, when it comes to my weight, diet or exercise, the topic is closed and off limits. Enough is enough and I had it.

I mean the closest that perhaps I could say that she got to even having a very slight understanding of what people go through when they are dealing with addictions and such is when her doctor put her on a very limited & restrictive diet of about 10 foods for a period of a week. She couldn’t have sugars, flours, meats, and many more things. She was constantly complaining that she felt hungry, was bored and more!   I only wish she would have had to deal with the eating plan for an extended time, as then perhaps she would have understood and had more compassion when it came to what I was going through, and others as well.

Then you have the many other judgements that people have about those of us who struggle or have struggled with our weight, either being overweight or even being underweight. I know that all these people mean well. Yes, at times we do need someone to get real with us and tell it like it is in a loving and compassionate manner, not a judgemental one! I mean if you haven’t walked a mile in our shoes then shut your mouth and keep your opinions to yourself unless we ask for them!

All too often the words that you are sharing within your conversations are actually causing more harm than good.   All too often the words you share are eating away at the person’s already fragile self-esteem. I know in my case it caused me to retreat into my cocoon that much more and become less active in the community. Choosing to go at it alone, rather than face the judgements of society.   And well when we are in our own private zones we tend to emotionally eat and such at the same time, as well we can’t be judged for what we are eating that way in that moment. We can have just a little piece.

Do you really think that we don’t know that we are slowly killing ourselves? Do you not think that perhaps there are moments that we wish we would just go to sleep and die so that we didn’t feel the pain of the world anymore, or even our own pounds of pain? Do you not realize that perhaps that all we need is a little compassion, love and acceptance without any judgement or without your unsolicited advice or anything?

So perhaps instead of resisting who we are, learn to just be at peace with where we are, accept and love us as we are, and well if we come to you for advice then you can offer it freely. But once you have said your piece, Back OFF! It’s in our hands what we do with that from there, not yours!   Let us approach you rather then beating your bat over our hands consistently!

I know in my case having lost the weight in the past, learning more nutritionally through classes, books and such, that I know what needs to be done that way. Having taking the various Personal Training Courses to get certified and such, I also know what needs to be done when it comes to exercise as well. I know what is best for my body, however I have just struggled with eating that way due to the various inner working of the body that I am working to get back in order. I know that I will get there, for everyday things are getting better, and well I am finding my groove once again.

Through everything I had lost of a part of my soul or perhaps disconnected from it, so I am reconnecting and integrating it more each day now, and I KNOW without a doubt that I will be back to my healthy, light and trim self in no time at all.   I just have to focus on the one step in front of me, and then take the next and the next as appropriate for me.

After all, only I know what is going on within my body, and what feels best. Just like only you truly knows what feels best for you and how you are feeling within! So respect and honour me, by focusing on your own needs at this time, and allow me to focus on mine. At the same time, you can hold the vision of me being my old happy, healthy, light, active, fit and trim self and I will hold the vision of you being in perfect health and wellness for your own highest vision of you!

This way, we are allowing each other to have, hold and step into our own power of health in our own way, with the support of the community as appropriate for us!

I also think we all can put ourselves in others shoes a bit by finding some common ground or something that can help us to relate to them a bit more, and thus forth understanding where they may be coming from. I know I always do my best to understand others in my own way, not to say that it is always the correct perspective but it allows me to have a bit more compassion for where or what they may be going through.

No one will ever truly know what is going on within fully, but one can definitely gain a compassionate perspective that much more by doing so.

Remember, we may be spirit, but we are having a human experience, with real feelings, emotions, thoughts and choices!

Thank you for caring, for doing your best to understand and get where others may be at in their journey whether it is with food addictions, health struggles or other ways in life.

Thank you for being a Compassionate Angel Supporter, for your likes and comments below.

2 Comments »